Making Peace With My Past

I promised someone a couple of weeks ago that I was trying to make peace with my past. I feel like I am well on the way to doing that. I have to be able to forgive myself first because I have wrestled with a guilty conscience for years and years. I have been trying to track people down (the internet does make that much easier but also a little bit scary) and you never know what reaction you are going to get. Most of these people and to be honest, all of them are women, are not as mad at me as I thought. That guilt was largely a product of my imagination but i still felt the incredible need to try and make things right. I guess I needed to make things right to help ease my conscience We had some good long talks, some productive talks, but I did not want or expect anything from these talks. I do not want to go out with them again (that was also an understanding) and I was as honest with them as I possibly could be. Whenever I started making phone calls and sending e-mails, I honestly did not know what kind of response I would recieve. I realized i ran the risk of being yelled at, hung up on, or not getting a reply to any of my e-mails. So far, none of that has happened. I would like to feel that I am doing all of this for the right reasons. I am not doing it to make myself feel better, I am doing it as an "atonement for my sins" as one lady put it but I don't think that is it either. I am doing this to right a wrong whether it was real or imagined. In the process i have had some excellent conversations. Now I face the scariest one of them all. I am sending an e-mail to someone I have only seen once in 26 years and that was only from a distance.