This past year was a learning experience for me. Some of the lessons were very hard to take. I learned that people are not always what they seem, they are not as virtuous as they claim to be, and they would rather try to hide behind a lie than stand before the truth. I was in a few relationships that I thought had long term potential. As it turns out, I was committed to them but they were not committed to me.
That opens the door to be cynical and give up on humanity. I also learned the hardway that most people are out for themselves. Giving up on people would be the easy way out. I realize that people make mistakes and some are genuinely sorry for what they have done. I am in a relationship now but I am trying to keep it all in perspective. I have been hurt too many times to completely bare my heart again. That is really not fair to my relationship partner but I feel the need to protect myself first.
I have thought about changing who I am. I consider myself a nice guy, faithful as a lap dog, and I try to be very considerate of others people's feelings. Changing who I am would be committing that second wrong and would be treating people the way I have been treated. People do what they do and I cannot control or change their behavior. The only thing I can control is how I react. That will always be a work in progress.
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