The Art Of Forgiveness

Being able to forgive people is definitely an art form. Most of my girlfriends often question how I am able to stay friends with my other ex-girlfriends (that is before they become my ex-girlfriends). I count as some of my best friends two of my ex-girlfriends and even my ex-wife. It took a little bit of work to get past some of our issues but we did share some intimate space at one point and time. We had some good times and I try to focus on those.

I tried a long time ago to learn how to forgive people. Am I going to be pissed at you at first? Yes, I am. I believe that is human nature. If I was the one that committed the wrongs, I started with an apology and tried to work my way from there. I did ask for forgiveness. That does not mean they forgave me but I felt better about myself and my apology was heartfelt and genuine. I just wanted them to know I was truly sorry. I want people to remember the good about me.

I read somewhere that letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for kindness, compassion, and peace. It is not even necessary for the other person to ask for forgiveness but it is important for me to grant it. That is when my healing begins.

Does it mean that I am going to trust you again? No it does not. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. I believe trust can be earned back but that in itself is a slow process. I try to have people in my life that are going to make my life better and add something to my life. I know some really beautiful people. Some people choose not to be in my life after we have crossed paths and that is fine too. I may not add something to their life.

Someone sent me something today because they knew I was feeling bad about myself and rather than quote the entire thing I will just quote the last line. "Take me as I am or watch me as I walk away." Sometimes I come back and sometimes it is better if I just keep on walking.