The Hooker Alternative

Dating at my age is hard. I have often thought about alternatives to traditional dating. There are several and I have tried almost all of them in some form or another. Most people are turning to online dating. I think I stood a better chance on the Titanic. There is "friends with benefits" although that never turns out to well for me. I usually get stuck footing the bill for our entertainment, I do not get much sex out of it, and the sex is never really that good because there is no feeling or emotions involved with it. I am also supposed to be at their beck and call whenever they want or need me or more than likely, be their personal ATM. That is not "friends with benefits", that is having a girlfriend.

There is also the "one night stand" but those are much harder to come by for me and I never feel good about those anyway. I have never been good at picking up women like that. I am not exactly a smooth talker and either I end up looking like the asshole only after "the one thing" (which in this scenario would have to be true) or the woman ends up being a tramp who would sleep with anybody. If a woman is willing to sleep with me on the first date, she more than likely has issues. I would like to think I have at least one desirable quality that would make a woman want to sleep with me but that has hardly ever been the case.

The last, and in my mind, most logical of the "dating" alternatives, is what I like to refer to as the "hooker alternative." It simplifies dating to its most base form. If sex is the ultimate objective, it is just a straight cash transaction. No emotions, no feelings, no game playing. It is just an agreed upon fee, paid up front and just hope it is not a law enforcement sting. It is not going to be cheap but when you balance it out of paying for a meal (and we are not talking about ordering through the clown's head at a drive thru) and the evening's entertainment, the prices are not going to be that far off. An hour with an "escort" is probably going to be cheaper than an hour in the VIP room at the strip club. I have known friends of mine that have easily spent $600 for an hour in the VIP room and not even get to cop a feel. I have never resorted to that alternative, but when I am dealing with psycho's every time I go on a date, the hooker alternative is starting to look like the best option.