Questions And More Questions

So many questions pop up throughout the infancy of a relationship especially a "long distance" relationship. What exactly qualifies as a long distance relationship? Some questions answer themselves and some questions may never be answered. How much can I really trust her? What exactly does "taking it slow" mean? When are we "exclusive"? How many guy friends does she really need?

I am sure she has many questions of me. How much can I really trust him? How many strippers phone numbers does he really need in his cell phone? How many female friends does he really need?

All legitimate questions and at the heart of all of the questions is trust. At our age (right around 50), we all have trust issues of some type. The vast majority of us have all been cheated on or lied to, and the vast majority of us have returned the favor in some way, shape, or form. In order to trust, you have to believe in the person you are dating. A lot of the times that is easier said than done. Within the past couple of years when I really started actively dating again, I decided to tell women the complete truth about myself and any questions they had about my past, I tried to answer as completely and honestly as possible. I did not want a situation to arise where skeletons would be falling out of my closet deep into a relationship and those skeletons be a deal breaker. I quickly discovered that honesty is not always the best policy. Some women refuse to even talk to me to this day after hearing "the whole truth", even as friends. So much for honesty.

My Dad brought me up to believe that you trust pretty much everyone until they prove you wrong. New relationships are scary in that regard especially if they are long distance. I am calling 60 miles long distance. I think a little distance is a good thing. It helps to keep the relationship fresh and you don't see each other 24/7. I also believe that trust has to be earned to a certain extent and it does take some time. If I tell you I am going to be somewhere, you can pretty much guarantee I will be early. If I say I will call, I will call. Getting the same in return would be fantastic.