The First Weekend Part I

My first date last Friday night turned into a first weekend and I had a great time. The lady lives about 65 miles away, a little over an hour with traffic, but not a bad drive, one that I have made before. We had spent quite a bit of time on the phone the past several days so we knew quite a bit about each other before we ever met. We both agreed to something that I really thought was kind of cool and that was we decided not to see each other- no peeking through the window or through the peephole- because we wanted to see each other for the first time together. I just about screwed that up by being way early like is my custom. She was running a little bit late (as she says is her custom) and I had to stand out on her balcony sight unseen until she was ready. That had to be one of the stranges but one of the best first meetings ever. We did see each other for the first time at the same time. Her pictures do not do her justice but her personality is more sparkling in person than it is over the phone so we were off to a very good start.

I Agree

I agree with Ce Lo Green's song "Fuck You" even though I like Sara Bareilles' live version I saw on Youtube much better. It seemed a little more personal. I think I would probably change the lyrics a little bit if I wrote the song. Mine would go something like "I am sorry I am not the drug addicted, alcoholic, woman beater that was your last boyfriend, so fuck you! I am sorry I do not treat you like crap, I am too nice, and put you first, so fuck you! You had your chance but you missed that dance, so fuck you!" I doubt that it is enough to make a song out of it, but it does get my point across.

50 First Dates

My dating life here lately has resembled the Adam Sandler movie "Fifty First Dates." The big difference is that he had fifty first dates with the same woman. Mine do not go much past the first date stage and it seems to be considered a long term relationship for me if I make it two weeks with the same girl. I guess the really surprising part to me is that I keep getting dates and I keep going out on them. When do you throw in the towel? I have another first date tomorrow night. I am hoping this is my last first date for a while but I have learned, albeit very slowly, to not get my hopes up. I realize dating is a bit of a vetting process and I have just about tried all types. I am hoping I can look back on this and laugh one day and I must admit that most of it is pretty funny now in a really sad, pathetic "how much worse can it get" kind of way. Here is to tomorrow and my last first date.... at least for a while.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day may be the most commercialized "holiday" of them all. Retail operations, in conjunction with women everywhere, have conned men into believing, although I believe it is more guilt than belief, that they have to buy something for their wives/girlfriends on that holiest of love holidays as a way of expressing their undying love for them. Chocolate, flowers, jewelry, stuffed animals. It really doesn't matter as long as something is bought and delivered. I never got anything out of it except heartache and an empty wallet. I didn't even get sex the majority of the time. It is interesting to note that the most famous Valetine's Day was the Valentine's Day Massacre around 1930 when a bunch of mobsters were gunned down by their rivals. Nothing says "I love you honey! I'd love to stay here and fuck you all day!" like a hail of bullets. I did get a "Happy Valentine's Day Jackass" from a female writer friend of mine today. But it was said with love and affection. And it beats a hail of bullets any day.

Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl XLVIII Champions

The Seattle Seahawks are the Super Bowl XLVIII champions. I have waited 38 years of my life to be able to say that, to be able to write that, to be able to watch that happen, and to be able to celebrate afterwards. All of the women I have dated know that I am a Seahawks fan and that might even be one of the first things I told them about myself. I have not been able to find a woman that shares my passion for the Seahawks (or football in general for that matter) but that is okay as long as they do not expect anything out of me during the NFL season (except for bye week of course). I have been in an especially celegratory mood for the past couple of weeks although several women have quit talking to me because I pulled for the Seahawks. I think Peyton Manning was the only name they knew on the Denver Broncos but they really need to remember "The Legion of Boom." I don't have any thing against Manning but he was playing the Seahawks. Starting a relationship out with that kind of friction only would have led to disaster next season anyway. I accepted so many congratulatory phone calls after the game, you would have thought I played in it. I might be celebrating by myself but I am celebrating as a fan of the Super Bowl XLVIII Champion Seattle Seahawks.

The Issue Of Trust

As I try to navigate my way through the shark filled dating waters of slightly before middle age, the issue of trust has become very important to me. I have been as honest as I possible as I can be about my past and it has cost me several potential relationships. I want the women I come in contact with to be able to trust me but because of my past "international play boy" life, it has made them doubt their ability to trust me. I would like to point out that I did all of this while I was single and I was under the impression that honesty was the best policy. I have also come in contact with women that had serious trust issues before they ever got to me and that destroyed any chance we had. I have a lot of female friends (with the emphasis on friends) and I would like to think I am as faithful as the family dog. I was always under the impression that trust is the cornerstone of any good relationship but trust also doesn't happen all at once. It has to be built up over a period of time but it doesn't mean I am going to mistrust anyone either. It just means that I will take them at their word until they prove me wrong. More importantly, I want them to feel like they can trust me as well and I also realize I have to build up a level of trust. Trust can be destroyed with one single act and it may never be gained back either.

Relationship Counseling

Me and a friend of mine at work have decided to go into relationship counseling. I am single and my friend has been married for 33 years so we believe we are the perfect one's to provide the young male about to get married with all of the information that he needs to survive the pitfalls of married life and make it out with his sanity intact. We gave out first counseling session about a month to a 25 year old man who is engaged to be married and it was a great success. We gave him pearls of wisdom like abstinence is not the key to safe sex, getting married is. After the I do's are said, the sex life dwindles to next to nothing. We also told him we hope he loves the in-laws because he will be spending more time with them than he does with his dog (if he is allowed to have one). We also told him that one of the most important purchases he will make is a very comfortable couch because he will be spending more time on it than he does in his own bed for things he has allegedly done, she thinks he has done, or things he might do in the future. By the end of the session the young man was curled up in the fetal position, sucking his thumb, and sobbing like a baby. We do our part.

The First Date

I am at it again. Today was a first date like I have never had before. We met on the dating web site Plenty Of Fish and we exchanged messages for a couple of days, talked on the phone last night, and agreed to meet this afternoon. She did something that a date of mine has never done before and that was she printed off my profile from the web site and she brought it with her. She sat down and she said she had some questions she wanted to ask me. She pulled out this folded up piece of paper with my profile printed out on it. It was funny because I had never had anyone do that before. I felt like I was at a job interview. It was different but I understand where she was coming from. About 99 % of all people misrepresent themselves on those dating websites and I am glad she asked. She asked some direct questions about my profile last night, mostly about the pictures, and I am glad she did. My most recent picture on there is about a year old with some being four years old. Luckily I have not changed that much and I pretty much look the same from my weight down to my gray hair. It was a fun first date and I hope I can get this one right.